So apparently I saved this file to my desktop instead of to my y-drive, so it's time to start over. Extra practice. I feel like I'm back in U.S. again. I can't say I was ever a big fan of these metacognition self-reflection deals, but they're probably for the better. Towards the end of sophomore year I got good at these, but I think I might have to start over. Maybe I'll look back to my old metacognitions. They'll get good sooner or later.
So this draft was basically started over from scratch. I realized that my first draft turned out more like a brainstorming session of potential ideas. My mind was wandering from one idea from the next, and, uh, it wasn't very successful. I did happen to come upon two ideas in that first draft that I liked. First, the brothers rarely interact directly with each other, but rather indirectly via Caddy. Second, the idea of looking at the Compson family from the “inside-out.” Unfortunately, I couldn't get very far past the basic premises of these ideas. I simply didn't know what to go, and I couldn't find a spot in the text to set me going. In general, incorporating specifics and textual analysis I find kind of hard here; perhaps it's the nature of the exploratory essay.
Anyway, I started this draft with my first observation about the book – Faulkner is experimenting with time. To organize my essay, I went from one chapter to the next, noting the effects of time in each chapter and trying to establish correlations that could be helpful in creating a thesis. At the end, I tried to make conclusions based on the observations I gathered throughout the essay.
One of my main concerns with this draft is that I was both too specific and not specific enough at the same time. I was too specific in that I rarely stepped outside of the text and made inferences about the vision of the world that Faulkner suggests. I wasn't specific enough in that only in a few places did I reference specific details. I happen to like the times where I did this the best (like my observations of Quentin disassembling his watch, whether or not it did fit into my essay).
I did pick a global theme, relationships with time, to concentrate on, and strove to find a thesis within this theme. I'm not sure whether I strayed too far from my path at the beginning, while keeping on the same level of analysis. I feel like I should be changing the scope of my analysis, narrowing it down or expanding it, rather than just moving further away from my starting point. Still, I do see a connection between where I started and where I ended up. I also think that I have some good ideas in my essay, but fail to put these together into an effective conclusion.
Ever since freshman year, my best essays have always been exploratory essays. I find some way to make the reader think, connect the main subject to a larger cause, and I make the reader care. My good exploratory essays are not typical English essays. This essay feels a little too typical, maybe just a little less formal.
I don't think my essay is bad, I'm just wary of being optimistic (when I did this in US I was on the highway to hell). I think I could take some of my ideas and focus them more, like my ideas about Jason, and then use them to make a larger point about life in general. I think my conclusions, while mostly accurate, may be too obvious. This reflection is beginning to feel as repetitive, and as un-specific, as my essay.
I'm not gonna lie, I did write this essay last minute; my college app was due the day before. This usually, though, is not a problem. I do my best writing when I write an entire draft in one sitting. Aside from in-class essays, I usually don't plan my essay out before hand. This is especially true for exploratory essays. I think when I plan, I don't come across my thesis spontaneously, and thus end up writing a very analytical, thesis-driven essay. The organization for this essay was clear-cut, chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4. Within these scheme, I let my thoughts drift – maybe too far, maybe not far enough. I haven't made up my mind yet.
My goals for the next piece are to use more specific details to speak more generally about the implications of Faulkner's novel. I would call my work “quality work” when I think that an outside reader would be interested in and care about my essay. It should make its reader think and perhaps examine the world with a new perspective, whether or not the reader knows that its origins came from Faulkner's messed up novel. The end.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
How do you pronounce Briony???
...not that I really care, but it would kinda be nice to know.
Sorry, of course I care.
The reason I ask is because it really affects how I view her as a narrator and as a person. There are certain pronunciations where I could never imagine her being a real, living, breathing human being. I actually think she is credible -- I think the purpose of her writing this book was actually to provide a final legit account of her story. All her other works are truly fictional. As for being real? I'll believe it when I meet her. I'm not quite sure how McEwan makes her seem so real. The easiest explanation would be the insane amount of detail that he provides.
I'd have to think that McEwan sympathizes with Briony, though at times he may think she's a little obtuse. I'm basing this on the fact that he made me like Briony. I don't feel like giving a significant explanation right now.
That answered a bunch of qusetions...the interesting one is does she get what she deserves? Thankfully for her, yes! Maybe that's her proper atonement. God's atonement for her. She has a nice little string of thoughts aboubt God forgiving her versus forgiving herself because she's God. I'm not sure how much of it I commpletely followed, but it was really interesting and thought provoking. McEwan brings up a question of how the author can forgive him/herself for the story. Actually, throughout the story he has a lot of questions about self-reference. I'm reading a book called Godel Escher Bach all about this type of "strange loop". It's interesting, and brought me sufficiently off topic. Please forgive the typos above...
Sorry, of course I care.
The reason I ask is because it really affects how I view her as a narrator and as a person. There are certain pronunciations where I could never imagine her being a real, living, breathing human being. I actually think she is credible -- I think the purpose of her writing this book was actually to provide a final legit account of her story. All her other works are truly fictional. As for being real? I'll believe it when I meet her. I'm not quite sure how McEwan makes her seem so real. The easiest explanation would be the insane amount of detail that he provides.
I'd have to think that McEwan sympathizes with Briony, though at times he may think she's a little obtuse. I'm basing this on the fact that he made me like Briony. I don't feel like giving a significant explanation right now.
That answered a bunch of qusetions...the interesting one is does she get what she deserves? Thankfully for her, yes! Maybe that's her proper atonement. God's atonement for her. She has a nice little string of thoughts aboubt God forgiving her versus forgiving herself because she's God. I'm not sure how much of it I commpletely followed, but it was really interesting and thought provoking. McEwan brings up a question of how the author can forgive him/herself for the story. Actually, throughout the story he has a lot of questions about self-reference. I'm reading a book called Godel Escher Bach all about this type of "strange loop". It's interesting, and brought me sufficiently off topic. Please forgive the typos above...
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Atonement Part I
Some quick notes on Atonement Part I: Beginning the Conversation
I think that Briony is defined by her imagination and the reality that her imaginings are grounded in. Actually, maybe Briony herself isn't defined by that, but her thoughts are.
vase scene...she imagines a strange new world tahtt she is invited to watch, and her imaginings take over her thoughts, since she has so few certain truths to base them upon. around that time, she is struggling with her comprehension of the world -- is everyone really an individual person like herself, or all they all robots? i forget what i thought this had to do with the vase scene...maybe you'll read my mind or i'll figure it out later.
prolepsis is really the basis for her crime. when she sees lola, she plans out her entire story complete with all her answers to questions and objections. since this is already planned out, she holds fast to her story, never changing it.
her reaction to robbie's note is in large part due to the timing. she is then a curious girl trying to get an eye into adult affairs, and she reads robbie's note. interestingly enough, she doesn't think that maybe the note is just a mature person's words, but she is driven to further inquiry by her curiosity.
intertextuality is different from a source in that multiple texts gain additional meaning through intertextuality; intertextuality gives context, as well. a source gives the foundation for an idea, or the raw material needed to develop that idea.
I think that Briony is defined by her imagination and the reality that her imaginings are grounded in. Actually, maybe Briony herself isn't defined by that, but her thoughts are.
vase scene...she imagines a strange new world tahtt she is invited to watch, and her imaginings take over her thoughts, since she has so few certain truths to base them upon. around that time, she is struggling with her comprehension of the world -- is everyone really an individual person like herself, or all they all robots? i forget what i thought this had to do with the vase scene...maybe you'll read my mind or i'll figure it out later.
prolepsis is really the basis for her crime. when she sees lola, she plans out her entire story complete with all her answers to questions and objections. since this is already planned out, she holds fast to her story, never changing it.
her reaction to robbie's note is in large part due to the timing. she is then a curious girl trying to get an eye into adult affairs, and she reads robbie's note. interestingly enough, she doesn't think that maybe the note is just a mature person's words, but she is driven to further inquiry by her curiosity.
intertextuality is different from a source in that multiple texts gain additional meaning through intertextuality; intertextuality gives context, as well. a source gives the foundation for an idea, or the raw material needed to develop that idea.